My wish for the week ahead is to get a job and to re-organize my living room....simplify it. Oh yeah and to actually go outside for a walk :)

I think the biggest secret I hide from myself is that I can be better. Which isn't a secret, it's more of me being in denial. I'm in denial about alot though.

All the poetry and letters I write are deeply personal. It is apart of my experiences, and based on my existence. It is not to encourage are promote anyone to follow my path. I'm currently traveling through alot of shadows in my life. Writing is my way of letting go of my pains. Now for something positive and joyful.


Om bhur bhuvah svah
tat-savitur varenyam
bhargo devasya dhimahi
dhiyo yo nah pracodayat

Rough Interpretation: We meditate upon the radiant Divine Light
of that adorable Sun of Spiritual Consciousness;
May it awaken our intuitional consciousness.

As I sit here my heart wanting to cry, I wish that I do die soon. Oh 
death deliver me unto the new moon. Veiled in darkness my soul takes no 
delights in the sight of the moonless sky. I long to cry to release it 
all yet I know these sorrows are mine to bear and upon sight others 
would they scare. Oh release me from this prison, let me roam free even 
if but one night, allow me to feel the warmth and comfort of the 
divines  love. Free to soar through the clouds as if wrapped in the 
wings of a dove. I've given all of me, there is nothing left to see. Set 
me free of this captivity. I long to dance beyond the stars and bow at 
my masters feet, to serve and love to give all of me. So let this be, 
guide me home and free I will be to roam.

Thunder rolls, as death bells toll, the one I love has lost his soul. I 
long to be with him eternally, yet I feel as though we're tumbling, free 
falling down this dreadful path where all our fears we face the dragons 
wrath. We fight and we struggle yet our souls are captive. Prisoners of 
our love and shackled by fears, we cry out and shed the most bitter 
tears. Though all may seem hopeless all is not lost because we have each 
other our lives being the cost.  We roam forever through darkened and 
fear filled streets our hearts beating as one, so help us god what have 
we done. We've given our lives over to the darkness that shadows our 
souls, immortal we maybe, but lonely  this life and all its many woes. 
Though we are together, and your love I do feel, sometimes I wonder if 
all this is real. For I give my soul to be in your arms, though many 
don't understand and warn me of the harm. For you are my king, I your 
queen through darkness we  may walk, with love we do see our path ever 
so clearly.

As I lay consumed by misery and seek relief from these oh so painful 
memories, I pray oh sweet death deliver me unto the lands of my 
ancestors. I choose to walk in the shadows to be near to you. The 
sweetness of your love,and the shadows hold me near to your heart. 
Forever will I be captured by your mighty hold. For you give the keys of 
rebirth to us all. Though I venture through the darkness, you uplift me 
and I see beyond this existence. May your grace carry me through this 
life unto the next.

Veiled in darkness,looking to confess, the sins of past and redeem my 
lost soul at last. Though the witch's moon, we shall see soon, for all 
will be clear, and there will be no need of fear. So hold your head up 
high and do not cry, for all sorrow will die, as the heavens opens its 
eye. Tears shall spill,and thy will shall you see for you are me, and I 
you throughout all eternity we are laid naked for all to see.

I will die in his arms at twilight. My spirit wrapped up in his love, I
will be his prey. I will die in a most beautiful way this day. His
darkness consumes me,yet it sets me free. I need him to mirror me, to
reflect my eternal soul. Then perhaps he will see we are meant to be
throughout eternity. My dark heart so ripped and torn apart. This deep
and sorrowful despair we both share...chained and imprisoned by fear,yet
I seek your love, come to me my dear. I seek to be your dark possession,
your one and only obsession. I desire to give you all of me,even the
parts of which you can not see. Whether heaven or in hell throughout all
eternity let our love be.